10 December 2009

it's not your hair, it's you.

in my natural hair care journey, i am learning important things. one of the most important lessons, i think, is the kind where people can tell you cautionary stories, but until you experience it for your hardheaded-self, the lesson just won't stick. so one thing i've learned these past few weeks is:

your hair is never wrong. if something ain't right, it's not your hair, it's YOU.

i see it like this: all your hair can ever be is hair; it can never be anything else. your hair knows (and will not hesitate to tell you) what it wants, likes, and needs and similarly, what it hates or doesn't need, like, etc. what your hair tells you is the gospel, and there ain't no other way to look at it. now, whether or not you hear what your hair is saying depends on how much you "listen" to it. i think our hair knows us so well, that it understands that a lot of us just don't listen. so, in those cases, your hair will show you. it will mat, tangle, break, knot, frizz, feel dry until you get the picture and do something about it. whether it be your technique, lack of care, or products, if your hair isn't behaving, it's because you're doing something wrong.

i know this sounds harsh, but our hair knows what's best. after all, it wants to be strong, lush, thick and shiny too and it knows that having beautiful hair makes us happy. so it will do what it needs to do to get healthy again and make us happy again.

i'm ashamed to admit this, but i learned this lesson the hard way. for a good while now, i had been severely slacking on the deep conditioning. either not deep conditioning properly, not using a condish my hair actually liked, not conditioning long enough, or at all. as if that wasn't a big enough no-no in the first place, it was only worsened by the fact that it is now winter. i wasn't even moisturizing properly, if i remember correctly. i was depriving my poor strands so much that they pretty much said, "look, b*tch, i if you don't give me what i need, i'm gonna do THIS." my scalp was tender, i had knots and tangles, breakage, dryness and it was just awful.

so this past weekend, i decided to give my hair even more than what she asked for. i DC'ed with aubrey organics honeysuckle rose, shea butter, coconut milk and honey and i let my hair enjoy her soak for a good two hours. it has almost been a week later and my 'fro is rewarding me for my efforts: minimal tangles, perfectly shaped afro, shiny curls, soft and moisturized.

and let me tell you, it feels so good to have my hair happy again. because when your hair is happy, she looks good. and when she looks good, you feel good. and we ladies know that when our hair is on point, you can't tell us nothing.

i always thought it was strange to hear women talking about the things their hair likes, needs, etc. i couldn't help but wonder, how do they know just how much their hair likes or doesn't like anything? of all the products i tried, nothing really seemed to "wow" or amaze me. they were just stuff i put on my hair. i had no clue if my hair liked something or not.

since starting my natural journey, i've learned that the more you interact and the more attention you give to your hair, you will learn all the signs of what your hair is trying to say. moisturize it, play in it, study how your hair feels before, during, and after you use a product. take notes. before long, "talking" with your hair will become second nature. :]


Anonymous said...

I totally agree with what you posted here. For years when I was much younger I always blamed my hair for looking like crap; but I WAS the one that didn't know what I was doing while my hair just rolled its eyes at

It's as if hair has a mind of its own at times....kinda freaky.

Izzy said...

most definitely... your hair can be bossy, lol.

Anonymous said...

Now I like this LOL!! I am gonna be deep conditioning weekly from now on!!!!! I need to find me a good one.